Yesterday was Saturday and it was a day to help extended family members. At eight thirty the wife, I, and our eldest son (who is in seventh grade) showed up at the home of my brother and his little family to help them move some furniture. They also had several other family members there helping as well. They had new carpet installed and therefore had to take everything out of the house (or at least moved to the kitchen and carport) during the installation. The day or two before, when we got wind that they wanted our help and specifically mentioned our son, he had reacted with resistance. So I wasn’t going to push it with him. If he didn’t want to go help, I wasn’t going to make him. Rather, I planned to say out loud to no one in particular that I wanted to help people who needed my help, especially when they ask for it. As it turned out, I didn’t have to say anything, because the morning of, my son asked me when we were going; which means somewhere along the way he made up his mind that he was going.
So we went and helped out and it only took about forty five minutes before we were done. It was after we got back that the trouble began. Teasing and lots of it. He tormented his oldest sister with his mocking mimicry and riled up the others. He resisted his mom’s assignment of chores. Upstairs, all I heard from below were complaints about him. It got so bad that I figured something must be up with him. My first guess was that he was being picked on or tormented at school and was taking it out on us.
So I took him ‘for a drive.’ We sat in the car in a strip mall parking lot and talked. I asked him why he hated us. He said he didn’t so I asked him what was going on. He made me explain, and when I finally asked him why he was behaving that way, he said that half of it was boredom. Before I jumped into the boredom issue, I asked and found out what the other half of the problem was.
…to be continued.
Tags: child discipline, children, family activity, family challenges, family history, family issues, Family Journal, family memories